Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Disclaimer: This opinion of the "Downlow*" is based completely on the number of stories I have heard from people I know and knew and the vast amount of craigslist.ca casual encounters posts I have read, it comes from personal experiences (as a mostly straight girl) and does not in any way try to explain this group as a whole despite the blanket statements and run on sentences...
Straight guys on the "DL" get their cocks sucked by boys all the time, yet they claim they are straight, or "bi-curious". In most if not all the stories I've heard the first time a straight boy has one of these "encounters" it is with a male who is significantly (whether factual or relative) older than he is, the situation is somewhat seedy, or at the very least scandalous enough to become a secret (whether factual or relative) and it usually happens after a good amount of sex with girls, making the boys in their early to mid twenties and up.
It seems that this first encounter has a lot to do with who goes back for more and why. As we know people have sex for pleasure, not just families but that's not where the reasons people have sex stop. People have sex in anger ("hatefucking"**) there's resentful sex, sex to get back at other people, drug sex (pick your poison) and the list goes on and on, but one that comes up a lot, a really common one is "feel better about yourself fucking". When you have sex and someone makes you feel incredibly hot and out of their league it feels amazing, there's a certain satisfaction in it that nothing duplicates. When you're heading out of your prime or you aren't a movie star good looks person it feels amazing to fuck someone who feels privileged to service you.
Most gay guys I know find straight boys incredibly erotic, probably because they are the untouchables. The boys that gay guys know, no matter how good looking they are, they can never fuck. So when one of these so called "straight men" gives it a go it's a triumph for the man who "brought them over". This is probably what makes it so erotic to get them.
On the other hand the "heterosexuals" are both curious and knowing in this encounter. They are curious because it is simply human urge to wonder about things outside the norm in every situation (even if you detest it you had to wonder about it to come to that conclusion) and this includes sexuality, who can say they haven't had at least one homoerotic dream? They are knowing because they can sense the anticipation and the excitement in their partner (like anyone who is about to engage with someone who really wants it) and this spur’s them further, making it even more enticing than the initial curiosity.
These all spring from the same thing, both the straight and the gay man are given a boost to their self esteem. The heterosexual feeling more wanted than usual (specifically because in most heterosexual relationships this power is held by the female) and the homosexual feeling that he is so enticing he tempted someone who isn't usually attracted to his sex. I believe the DL has nothing to do with women***in any capacity, it's not that these men are no longer attracted to women but being with women doesn't give them the same boost of self esteem. They still go home or out and try to have sleep with the opposite sex but now and then they engage in this gratifying sex that has more to do with "feeling good about yourself" than anything else.****
*The Downlow or DL is when men who claim to live a heterosexual life participate in homosexual acts and keep it a secret (unless they get really drunk with a loose tongue and their most "open" friend)
**Ha ha ha
***well yeah, I guess that's obvious but I'm not just talking about the act.
****Unless they're gay...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Just something that I was going to put into a zine I was going to start, needless to say that didn't happen so I thought I would pollute the internet with it. Stand by, more to come!
1. Masturbate Like Crazy and Lose Your Virginity! - I lost it early and it took me till I was legal to find someone who could make me cum, you don't want to spend forever with someone who can't make you cum. Women’s bodies aren't easy to manipulate and you have to figure out how it works yourself first and that takes practice, you don't want to waste the most fun part of a relationship (the honeymoon period) still working on it! Though it seems shiny and new the first couple times regardless of whether you cum or not, eventually it'll drive anyone insane. Besides, the older you get the older the guys you have sex with get and it seems that now days few want the daunting task of your first intercourse experience (save for a few kinks)
2.Use The Internet - That's what it was invented for anyway and while in the real world women out number men, in the online dating/casual encounters world the opposite it true. It's an untapped well of horny straight (and slightly curved) men that will fuck anyone, a girl, any girl, is a godsend. Just make sure your safe (online safe means a jimmy) and meet in public first.
3.Don't Be Desperate, Be Confident - It appears that there is nothing people want less than things that are thrown at them. If you want to have sex with someone the last thing you should do is walk up and tell them that, flirt, be obvious even, but never tell them because as soon as they know for a fact that it's true they know that they get to decide when and if it happens (which immediately drains it of a whole bunch of sexy anticipation, the chase is always better than the kill) I know it sounds like inspiration for young teens but being confident is so sexy, when you walk out thinking you are going to fuck whoever you want, it shows. People are immediately interested if they see you with no fear, if you're not confident, fake it.
4.Lower Your Standards - If you're out to fuck you can't expect to fuck only your ideal, that's the guy you want to be in a relationship with, not have a one night stand with. Take a chubby/scrawny/big nosed/bad hair/bad tattoo/bad taste/short/tall one sometimes. Don't rid yourself of standards (because that can lead to gross post feelings) but a 7or 6 (or 5 if you get really desperate) outta 10 ain’t bad, and sometimes the not ideal could surprise you by being ideal in the sack!
5.Be A Giver - Boys love a good blow job, if you don't suck cock you should learn fast because your breed is dying. Does sex without oral even exist anymore? Is it fun? Being good at sucking cock gives you an edge if you ever end up with a guy who isn’t the biggest giver. He’ll know that if he wants your sweet, sweet cock sucking action he’ll have to reciprocate!
6.Don't Be Shy - Being coy and shy is one thing when your flirting but in the middle of copulating it's just annoying. Again, the female body is hard to figure out so throw your partner a bone so to speak and tell him what you want. Tell him where to go and what to do when he gets there, it will make sex more enjoyable and stress free for both of you and inspire more vocalization during sex which is always more fun. This rule also applies to your kinks (and his) if there's something different you want to try, ask, if he's not into it don't take it personally. If he asks and it's something you don't want to do very respectfully (and not judgingly because he just showed huge vulnerability) say no, or jump in and try something new, who knows what it will awaken within you.
7.Show Off the Biggest Part Of Your Body - No matter what part it is there's a fetish out there for it and if boys with that fetish see it they are more likely to approach you. It's especially good if you hate said body part because there is nothing hotter and more confidence inspiring than fucking someone who thinks your giant tits/ass/feet/belly/nipples/vagina/hips/neck/shoulders/ears/whatever is the sexiest thing ever and seeing you flaunt it will just make him want you that much more.
8.Know How To End A One Night Stand - don't turn sex into this huge emotional thing all the time. Can sex be emotional and "special"? Yes, of course it can but not if that emotion and "specialness" wasn't there before the sex happened. There are important times in your life and relationships when sex will mean something deeper but those times usually don't include the random you met at a party and talked to for 25 minutes before going home with, there is no need to cry when he doesn't call or bring him a homemade tuque/baked good the next time you see him because he probably wants to see you for the same reason he saw you last time (and that should be the reason your seeing him) you fall in love in between, not at the beginning. If you’re that person, stop it, your ruining casual sex for the rest of us. If you sleep with a boy that is that person, run.
9. Orgasm - or fake it, either way people will want to have more sex with you if they think they are a great lover and it will inspire them to work harder (so ideally the next one will be real). If you do fake it just remember that you are only cheating yourself because there's no way he's faking it so that you feel good.
10. Go Out And Party, But Not With All Girls – You’re not going to meet anyone new to fuck if all you do is hang out with the same people in the same place night after night. A lot of great sex comes from friends of friends you meet on a whim and end up chatting with, it's harder to meet someone when you don't have that initial icebreaker introduction. Also, a pack of girls spells hard to penetrate (in every sense) to a guy, it's hard enough for them to approach one let alone an entire horde. Your best luck will come from going out with a mixed gender group but staying distant from the boys in it (so your potential doesn't mistake one of your friends for a boyfriend) When you first get introduced say something that let's him know you noticed him before your meeting, i.e. "I saw your hat/bike/art/penis earlier, it was awesome". If there is reciprocation you are in, if not, move on.